2012

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Rated PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some language

Length: 158 minutes

Released: November 13, 2009 Nationwide

Score: 2.0

Cast: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson, Danny Glover

Director: Roland Emmerich
Producer: Roland Emmerich
Writer: Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, SciFi/Fantasy
Distributor: Sony Pictures/Columbia

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The end isn't so near.

Clocking around 2 hours and 33 minutes, "2012" is a pregnant pause of a super deluxe disaster story. Once the real punch of the piece makes it onto the screen, about 45 minutes after the opening title flashes across your eyes, "2012" throws everything - including a proverbial kitchen sink - into the mix. No stone is left unturned, literally.

"2012" refers to the year the ancient Mayan calendar ends. No one is completely sure why the Mayans didn't go beyond sorting its calendar out beyond Dec. 21, 2012. Maybe, some say, it means the Mayans were forecasting time would literally end then.

Or, just maybe, the Mayans got tired of counting and called it a day.

Hollywood, not wanting to let such a ripe idea go to waste, has made "2012" about the end of the world, caused by giant solar flares and a shifting of the Earth's crust. Massive earthquakes, super tsunamis and exploding mountain ranges cause all of us to flee for our lives.

"2012" tells the tale of failed husband and father Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), who attempts to reconnect with his son and daughter just days before nature goes haywire. He manages to escape the collapse of his home city with his kids, ex-wife and her new beau in tow. But his trip won't be a family vacation. He has to survive a world tearing apart at the seams as he goes from the Rocky Mountains to China to seek refuge.

Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C., the president (Danny Glover) confides in his daughter that the major governments of the world have known for years that this worldwide catastrophe was coming. They got together, built super arks and are all meeting up in China for the launch.

(P.S. Only the pretty and the rich get on board. All you uglies, well, are out of luck.)

Around the world, scientists are fearful and debating the ethics of it all.

As far as action adventure goes, "2012" is executed in that over-the-top way that adventure movies of the 1980s and early 1990s were. The middle section of "2012" is a tiresome and highly overworked visual and aural assault of huge explosions, fiery bombardments and stunt driving by land, sea and air.

We've all seen the spectacular trailer for "2012" - scenes of mass destruction and Cusack managing a car through crumbling buildings and streets opening up just a few inches behind him. That sequence is truly the money shot of "2012." Too bad the trailers gave away the best scenes already.

"2012" isn't meant to be plausible in the least. It's a popcorn movie - and you'll need a big old bucket to get through this exhaustive exercise of action movie cliches. By the time it gets moving, the popcorn bucket is empty, and your attention may start to drift.

The real strength of "2012' - its dynamic special effects - is truly lacking in believability. Most indoor scenes look too much like cheap soundstage sets, sapping "2012" of its real value.

The larger special effects are startlingly unconvincing. Cities collapsing around your ears look to be the work of some guy behind a computer with a really good imaging program.

As disaster films go, "2012" isn't the end of the world. But it sure doesn't put us there in the realistic visual style you'd expect. Unfortunately, "2012" is one of the biggest letdowns this season.

© 2009, Knoxville News Sentinel
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