Ron Phillips, Disney

Robin Williams and John Travolta, from left, in the movie "Old Dogs."

Old Dogs

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Rated PG for some mild rude humor

Released: November 25, 2009 Nationwide

Cast: John Travolta, Robin Williams, Kelly Preston, Seth Green, Ella Bleu Travolta

Director: Walt Becker
Producer: Andrew Panay, Robert Levy, Peter Abrams
Writer: David Diamond, David Weissman
Genre: Comedy
Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures

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Having milked everything he could out of the “Look Who’s Talking” series, John Travolta knows how to make money from lame comedies. He’s on track to create another franchise with films whose titles rhyme with “slogs,” as in tough ones. “Old Dogs” follows “Wild Hogs” and apparently is an appetizer for “Wild Hogs 2: Bachelor Ride.”

In “Old Dogs,” Travolta teams with Robin Williams, who also knows a thing or two about straining for laughs, and failing. What’s lucky for both of them is that low expectations lead audiences to think movies are better than they really are. And “Old Dogs” is an improvement over “Wild Hogs.” It’s just as contrived, but it feels like it’s hand-made instead of factory-assembled.

The “Old Dogs” are Charlie (Travolta) and Dan (Williams), lifelong friends who are about to win their sports-marketing firm a sweet deal with a Japanese conglomerate. With Charlie’s glib charm and Dan’s business acumen, they’re sure to make the magic happen. Add to the mix their hot-shot protege, Craig (Seth Green), and Charlie and Dan are ready to say, “We’re going to Tokyo Disneyland!”

Movie plots, however, demand a few bumps. Charlie loves to tell the story of how seven years ago, after Dan’s 14-year marriage ended in a devastating divorce, ladies’ man Charlie took Dan to Miami so he could repair his broken heart with a mindless fling. Dan ended up impulsively marrying Vicki (Kelly Preston), who was visiting South Beach with her friend Jenna (Rita Wilson). An annulment quickly followed, but Dan has been single and lonely ever since.

He thinks Vicki might want to give him another chance; she’s coming to New York and wants to see him. But it turns out she has some news: Their one night of matrimony resulted in twins, Zach (Conner Rayburn) and Emily (Ella Bleu Travolta). As though learning he’s a father weren’t enough, Dan is stuck taking care of the kids for a couple of weeks while Vicki is at a “spa” (actually prison, for trespassing during a protest).

The timing couldn’t be worse, and since Dan can’t have the kids at his adults-only condo complex, he and his offspring have to shack up at the child-unfriendly bachelor pad Charlie shares with his actual old dog, Lucky. Both the men and their Japanese deal suffer from the instant immersion in parenting.

The script by David Diamond and David Weissman relies heavily on physical humor that involves both children and adults being dealt painful blows. It’s supposed to be hilarious when Dan and Charlie are mistaken for grandparents, but it isn’t. The most amusing sequence has the two men comparing their various medications, inevitably followed by a mix-up featuring extreme side effects.

While “Old Dogs” isn’t painful as it’s happening, it’s a letdown ultimately. With a supporting cast that includes Green, Amy Sedaris, Dax Shepard, Luis Guzman, Justin Long, Matt Dillon and the late Bernie Mac, it should be much funnier.

Director Walt Becker (“Wild Hogs”) has sentiment on his side, with the Travolta family’s offscreen tragedy and Mac’s death priming viewers to be sympathetic and a segment at the old Shea Stadium prompting nostalgia. But while “Old Dogs” has a few cute tricks, they’ve all been done before.

© 2009, Knoxville News Sentinel
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