Mariah Carey as herself
Mariah Carey as Mrs. Weiss in the film "Precious."
Mariah Carey is taking a stab at acting again. In "Precious," she plays a less-than-glamorous (some may say "plain") counselor who tries to help a troubled inner-city teenager. Carey dressed down for this one and is barely recognizable. We like to think of her as all bouncy and wearing clothes to leave little to the imagination. Which Mariah do you like better: The sexy one or the less-than-sexy but more serious kind?
THE DIFFERENCE
pretty: You'd totally want to hook up with her and brag to your friends, "Yeah. I made out with her. She's totally into me!" She doesn't answer your phone calls and eventually has to get a restraining order.
ugly: You'd meet her on a blind date that a mutual friend set up. Then, five minutes after seeing her, you claim you suddenly got a text from a buddy whose hair is on fire. You bolt without paying the check and promise to call (which you don't).
CONVERSATION
pretty: She chews a lot of gum while talking to you and uses the word "hoochie" a lot.
ugly: She talks a lot about books and other boring things, but she has a good heart.
BEST TALENT
pretty: She can hit a high F, shattering glass and making dogs bark.
ugly: She can read, like, really big words.
WORST TRAIT
pretty: Every conversation is about her: "Help ME! There's a stalker after ME! I'M scared!" Enough with the me, my and I!
ugly: She's too needy: "Will you give me a ride home after our date? Can you stop the car now or do I need to just jump out? Are you going to ditch me again and leave me with the check?"
© 2009, Knoxville News Sentinel Co.
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Comments » 1
BuckFama writes:
Irrespective of makeup, she is ugly. It is natural and inescapeable. You can put a pretty dress on a pig but you've still got a pig.
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