Gabriel Iglesias

Gabriel Iglesias

Gabriel Iglesias

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Tennessee Children's Dance Ensemble

Tennessee Children's Dance Ensemble

— Friday, March 12

'KEVIN ABERNATHY BAND'

The Kevin Abernathy Band is one of best rock acts in the South and if you haven't heard that before it's because you haven't been around me for more than five minutes. Why wait until someone else tells you the same thing? See them for yourself and spread the word. The band will perform at 9 tonight at Patrick Sullivan's. Ned Van Go and the Marc Higgins Band will open. Admission is $7. If you'd like a sample before the big show, check out the group on today's "Blue Plate Special" at noon at the Square Room or just listen in on WDVX, 89.9 or 102.9 FM.

TENNESSEE CHILDREN'S DANCE ENSEMBLE

Ah, youth! That tender age when a body can move elegantly, and twist and turn without dislocating some part you might need later. The members of the Tennessee Children's Dance Ensemble, below, not only move elegantly, they move artfully. The group will present its annual dance concert at 8 p.m. Friday, March 12, and at 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, March 13, at the Clarence Brown Theatre on the University of Tennessee campus.

Admission is $20. For information, call 865-584-9636.

Saturday, March 13

'CHURCH OF DIMINISHING MARGINAL RETURNS'

Corrupt evangelical preachers? Why, we've never heard of such. The Tennessee Stage Company will present the debut of the comedy "The Church of Diminishing Marginal Returns," a tale of brothers who start a church that's more interested in saving dollars than souls, as part of the New Play Festival at 8 p.m. at Theatre Knoxville Downtown, 319 N. Gay St.

Admission is $15 in general, $12 for students and seniors. For information, call 865-546-4280 or visit www.tennesseestage.com.

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Sunday, March 14

'PIRATES OF PENZANCE'

If your idea of opera is something staid, somber and boring, prepare to expand you mind with the Knoxville Opera Company's presentation of Gilbert and Sullivan's comedic masterwork "The Pirates of Penzance" at 2:30 p.m. at the Tennessee Theatre. Knoxville-born movie and TV star David Keith plays the Pirate King. Tickets range from $80 to $15 ($40 to $10 for students) and are available at Tickets Unlimited outlets, at www.knoxvilletickets.com or by calling 865-656-4444.

Monday, March 15

'GET GREEN A LITTLE EARLY'

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Celebrate St. Patrick's Day a little early by checking out CELT, an evening of Irish music and dance featuring vocalist Michael Londra. Check out Londra singing "Danny Boy" on YouTube to get a sample of this guy's impressive pipes. The show starts at 8 p.m. at the Grove Theater in Oak Ridge. Tickets are $22. 50 and are available at the Ferrell Shop and Oak Ridge Floral, both in Oak Ridge, or online at www.revitalizeoakridge.org. VIP tickets (reserved seating and a wine and cheese reception for Londra the day before the concert) are available for $40. The show will benefit the Oak Ridge Revitalization Effort, which works to preserve historic structures in Oak Ridge.

Tuesday, March 16

INVISIBLE FUNNY GUY

You might not recognize the name "Alan Zweibel" or even remember his face, but you've surely laughed at Zweibel's work. He was a writer for "Saturday Night Live" during the show's golden era. He came up the Gilda Radner characters Roseanne Roseannadanna and Emily Litella and was himself a performer on the show during the "SNL's" fifth season. More recently, Zweibel has written for "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Monk." Zweibel will speak at 7 p.m. at the University of Tennessee, University Center Auditorium. Admission is free.

Wednesday, March 17

ST. PATRICK'S DAY BLOWOUT

Personally, I like snakes and I think they need them in Ireland, but St. Patrick's Day is a fine time to cut loose. There are at least two great shows to inspire that. 1. Cutthroat Shamrock with the High Score and Big Country's Empty Bottle, 9 p.m. at the Valarium tickets $6, advance, $8, at the door. 2. Four Leaf Peat, 9 p.m., The Square Room; $10, advance, $15, at the door. Be sure to wear green or you'll get pinched - unless you're into that sort of thing.

Thursday, March 18

DON'T HOLD THE SAUCE

G. Love and Special Sauce need a musical cooking show with different sauces lovingly made every night. Until that happens, enjoy the group's music at 9 p.m. at the Valarium, 1213 Western Ave. (really UNDER Western Avenue). Tickets are $20, advance, $23, at the door, and are available at Tickets Unlimited outlets or by calling 865-656-4444.

Gabriel Iglesias

Gabriel Iglesias

Friday, March 19

GABRIEL IGLESIAS

On his latest comedy DVD Gabriel Iglesias said there are now six levels of fatness: big, healthy, husky, fluffy, "damn!" and "aw, hell no!" Iglesias, below right, will present his laugh-out-loud blend of storytelling, sound effects, characters and voices at 8 p.m. at the Tennessee Theatre, 604 S. Gay St. Tickets for the show are $34.50, plus service charges. For ticket info, call 865-656-4444.

Saturday, March 20

THE REAL BADONKADONK

Jamey Johnson did not get signed to a recording deal because he was pretty. He looks like a guy who might wallop you upside the head in a seedy bar because you said "Your favorite football team is inferior to my favorite football team." He needs to look tough, though, because, in addition to his own hits (including "In Color"), he is the co-author of "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk," one of the most maddening country hits of the past 25 years. Johnson will perform at 8 p.m. at the Tennessee Theatre. Tickets are $35 and are available at Tickets Unlimited outlets, 865-656-4444.

Sunday, March 21

REAL OUTLAW COUNTRY

David Allan Coe is such an outlaw that he didn't even show up last time he was supposed to be in town! The author of "Take This Job and Shove It" and the singer of "You Never Even Call Me By My Name" and responsible for a string of albums that were so offensive that they had to be sold under the counter by record store clerks who had to look both ways as they slipped them across the counter. Coe is a legend for all the right reasons. See him while you can. The show begins at 8 p.m. at the Valarium. Tickets are $20, advance, $22, at the door. Ages 18 and up only and ages 18-20 must pay an additional $3 at the door. Joecephus and the George Jonestown Massacre will open the show.

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