It's time for the annual "This is so easy that I shouldn't get paid for doing it" column.
That's right; it's my "Most Annoying Celebrities of the Year" list.
Who doesn't love a good annoying celebrities list? Some publications have turned the practice of selecting annoying celebrities into a full-time business. For instance, People magazine puts annoying celebrities on almost all of its covers. Without annoying celebrities, there would be no People magazine.
Last year, my list consisted of: Kim Kardashian, Charlie Sheen, Ashton Kutcher, Lindsay Lohan, Piers Morgan, Kris Jenner, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Donald Trump and movie director Brett Ratner.
A couple of the 2011 honorees made it on to my 2012 list, of course. Annoying celebrities don't get less annoying as they age; they merely step out of the spotlight for a while. That is why you won't find Snooki and The Situation on the 2012 list. They are still annoying, but their TV show "Jersey Shore" is no longer hot, so who cares about these shameless self-promoters?
If you're a regular reader of this column, you'll know that I discussed Lohan last week, so I hesitated to include her on this list. I made a plea for the media to ignore her, and several readers pointed out that I was still part of the problem by writing about her again. So, with that in mind, I have decided to exclude her from the list, but she remains among the most annoying celebrities anywhere.
I do want to give a tip of the hat to the lovely Kim K., last year's top vote-getter. In 2012, she found romance with one of the most annoying celebrities in the world (Kanye West), but pretty much stayed out of sight. She devoted most of her time to her burgeoning business empire, and showed up in public for occasional photo ops. Good for you, Kim. Now get rid of that annoying boyfriend.
Without further annoyance, here are the 10 most annoying celebrities of 2012:
1. Kristen Stewart
This is not a column that passes moral judgment, so we don't care that she apparently cheated on her lovable "Twilight" co-star Robert Pattinson with the director of her "Snow White" movie. This moody actress was annoying long before she strayed. She has been performing on the big screen since she was a kid, so you'd think she would understand how Hollywood works by now. But she has had a sour look on her face since the day the "Twilight" movies launched her career into the stratosphere. Oh, what a burden it must be to be adored by millions of fans, and to make enough money in one year to run a small country.
2. Chris Brown
I'd really like to put the singer's 11 million Twitter followers on this list but I don't have the space. Why would anyone follow this thuggish guy?
And I might ask the same question of this woman. Her career continues to soar, but her taste in men continues to sink to unspeakable lows.
4. Donald Trump
He deserves to be at the top of this list, but he'd probably like that, so I don't want to give him the satisfaction.
5. Taylor Swift
Success breeds annoyance, and this sugary sweet singer is as successful as ever. This young woman doesn't date; she trolls for potential lyrics to future songs.
6. Russell Brand
Wasn't this guy really funny a couple of years ago?
7. Ashton Kutcher
The show business career that continues to boggle the mind. After he replaced Charlie Sheen on "Two and a Half Men," he became the beneficiary on a show that benefits from a favorable time slot. The guy can't act, but his use of social media somehow keeps him relevant to a certain group of people.
8. Christina Aguilera
She wasn't a sweetheart before she became a coach on NBC's hit show "The Voice," but she showed her true colors week after week. Fashioning herself a pint-size Simon Cowell, she ripped into contestants like a serious critic, but her criticism was transparent. She lashed out at singers attached to other coaches in an obvious attempt to boost her own people (the plot didn't work), and I also think she targeted female singers she saw as future competitors.
9. Jessica Simpson
Anyone who uses pregnancy and weight loss as the basis of a show business career begs to be on this list.
10. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez
We have nothing against either individual, but as a couple, they were annoying right up to and including their well-publicized breakup. Although the end of their relationship was cause for celebration for those of us who were really annoyed, it did not occur until late in the year, so there was plenty of annoyance happening in 2012.
Barry Koltnow: bkoltnowocregister.com
©2012 The Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.)
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