Green’s Tavern is located in the shopping center where the Kroger used to be near the corner of Cedar Bluff and Kingston Pike in West Knoxville. (It is my second shopping plaza bar review in as many weeks.)
What else could you do before heading off to Green’s for a pint? Well, you could withdraw money from the Bank of America, buy a sturdy birdhouse at The Home Depot, buy a new headshot for you iPod at Radio Shack before a quick workout lifting rocks at Crossfit Knoxville. You could then engage in a videogame struggle at Battlefield Knoxville before finally bellying up to the bar at Green’s Tavern for a victory pint.
Of course, if you were me, you would do all that in reverse and add a shot of Jameson.
Pretty packed shopping center I would say.
It is important to me when small businesses have a single or couple of owners that the owners are somewhat present at their establishment. Especially at a place like a small bar. Unless your volume is unreal or you have 10 other investments that pull you away, you don’t have enough funds to pay properly for a manager that would run the place like you would.
At Green’s Tavern, owners Anja and Jeff and nearly always there.
Green’s is a place I had heard about previously by my friend Sean, who works at the national electronics chain not far away and often would stop in at Green’s after a shift to relax and kick back. On several occasions he invited me there for drinks, but only once did I take him up on it since it was pretty far out west for and Eastsider like myself.
In Green’s the walls are green, the floors are hardwood and red curtains hang on the plate glass that makes up the angled front wall. There is a Newcastle Mirror near the bookshelf, and a framed print of “Starry Night” by Van Gogh is centered on the wall in another section. The room is mostly a rectangle, a leather couch and loveseat are at the front of the room on the right, with a bookshelf in between them with card and board games. They have stuff like Cards Against Humanity and backgammon. It’s pretty common for groups of friends to come in and grab one and play for hours. Nothing like someone getting buzzed and throwing down on some board games. No wonder the place hasn’t had any fights in the two and a half years they have been open.
The seating capacity is 60, split mostly between booths on the wall to the left of the front door, and the long bar, which stretches about halfway across the full length of the room. There is also a section of tables to accommodate larger groups for game play or late evening gathering.
There is no live entertainment at Green’s, but their is an internet Jukebox. That Jukebox did not have “Gonna Make You Sweat” by C&C Music Factory or I would have played one of my favorite tricks my brother taught me. Here is what you do: Put $5 in the jukebox. Choose “Gonna Make You Sweat” repeatedly on the jukebox until all $5 is exhausted. Then immediately go up to the bar and order two shots and a beer for everyone at your table (except your DD, be responsible people!). Go back to your table and begin drinking the beer. When the song comes on, people in the crowd might hoot and holler a little bit because it is a Gen X throwback. Lead this cheer by raising your shot glasses to the sky and downing them, cheering lyrics loudly at the end. Continue drinking the first beer as the song concludes. When the song comes on again, repeat your shot/cheering step. Finish your beer during the second song. As it finishes begin walking out the door. As you are leaving the song will start again and this time all the folks in your group should sing all of the first verse as you depart. The crowd will then know they have been had. And without a savvy bartender paying attention, the song will continue to play from 3 to 5 more times. ... Yes, harmless pranks are fun.
This is a nerd bar. Everything is right about that. I love nerds though I am not one of them. Nerds are much more knowledgeable about things then I am. I guess I would fall into the dork category. This just means I am envious of nerds often, but more often corrected by them because of my lack of specific knowledge about the things they are obsessed with, like “Game of Thrones” and “Dr. Who.” “Dr. Who” is central to a regular “event” at Green’s, when folks fill the place to watch the show. Same with “The Walking Dead,” although I don’t feel it is fair to say that is nerd-exclusive.
Green’s never closes early from what the staff told me. They are open seven days a week the same exact hours and even serve food until 2:45 a.m. Not to mention the fact that the place has a 100 health score. That’s pretty clean, y’all. Why can’t the bars downtown get on this culinary train?
If you are in the West Knoxville, stop in to Green’s for a pint. They don’t serve liquor, but they do serve Walkers on the big screen every Sunday at 9 p.m.
© 2013, Knoxville News Sentinel Co.
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